i'm seeing in red and blue

[cosmicna]

did they lose the war? no. i wouldn’t say so. how could you lose if you both are from opposing sides? how could you lose if you chose not to fight? to run away to a place of your own design, a bridge for a space to be neighbors, to keep dogs, and share tea?

230901: infiltrated my mind

sometimes they come in bursts. in those abrupt times. and you’re caught off guard.

8:05 pm
it’s so crazy how i’m crying over seeing this tiktok of two people going on an art date in some place that’s near the river and full of trees and just. is so nice and romantic but all i'm thinking of are blue and red. like???? if blue stopped reading, they never ever ever ever would’ve met up.

they’ve never gone on a date. they’ve never spoken to each other as if they’ve got all the time in the world because They Can’t Do That. they only spoke when blue was in disguise. the rest of their loving and romantic exchanges are in the form of letters. words spread across strands and memorized to be kept in their hearts and heads.

i hope some day, somewhere, in at least one strand, blue and red are neighbors, sharing their tea and playing with their dogs.

this is how you lose the time war has rewired my brain.

230901: quoted

you're in my head. don’t get out.

9:59pm

“Flowers grow far away on a planet they'll call Cephalus, and these flowers bloom once a century, when the living star and its black-hole binary enter conjunction. I want to fix you a bouquet of them, gathered across eight hundred thousand years, so you can draw our whole engagement in a single breath, all the ages we've shaped together.”

It is a gift from Garden that her role here requires such thorough, deliberate in-dwelling; that to wander in the woods and think of birds and trees and colours is expected of her, is mission critical.

“What will I do, sky? Lake, what? Bluebird, iris, ultramarine, how can there be more when this is done? But it will never end—that's the answer. There is always us. Dearest, deepest Blue—At the end as at the start, and through all the in-betweens, I love you.”

“I loved you. That was true. With what's left of me I can't help but love you still. This is how you win, Red: a long game, a subtle hand played well. You played me like a symphony, and I hope you won't mind my feeling a little proud of you for such a magnificent betrayal.”

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I'll write it in waves. In skies. In my heart. You'll never see, but you will know. I'll be all the poets, I'll kill them all and take each one's place in turn, and every time love's written in all the strands it will be to you."

“Shall we build a bridge between our Shifts and hold it—a space in which to be neighbours, to keep dogs, share tea?”

“Forever yours, Red”

“Yours, Blue”

(take my heart, lock it safe, you are the book i choose today.)